So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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