Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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