She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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