Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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