So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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