Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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