Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
