Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
