FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
