um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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