She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
