i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
