Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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