I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
