he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
high people should be assigned attendants
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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