I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Im just a social blackout drinker.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
