just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
