Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
