So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
