dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
