i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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