Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
