A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
