i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize