When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
