We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
