i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
