im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
