i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
