You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
