I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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