She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
