Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
