what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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