there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
