we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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