Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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