I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize