my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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