I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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