You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
