you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My feet surprised me
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