Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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