I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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