Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
