cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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