I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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