that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
