Soap is not a condiment
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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