I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
