Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize