Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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