I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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