YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
