the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
