Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize