I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
