If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
