My room smells like vodka and shame
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
