Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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