if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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