remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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