I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
