I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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