The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
