dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
