last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize