How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
