Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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