dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
