i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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