I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
