Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
