OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
