its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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