he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
